my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
