Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My breasts were aching with rage.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
