If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
