I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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