fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
