After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize