I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
