1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
