i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
MIDGETS
????
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
