I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
