Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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