sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why are your pants in the freezer?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
