Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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