I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
