Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
