sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
