just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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