I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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