I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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