I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
