i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
