i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
