is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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