i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
