I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
