his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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