I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
