it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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