She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
