They should really pass out barf bags in church
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
