i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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