We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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