At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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