turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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