saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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