Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
