everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well you can't waste a boner
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
