I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
