I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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