Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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