At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I cannot find my penis.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize