Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
