Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
