Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
