I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
