Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
