apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just puked most of my soul out..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
