she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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