You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We are all done wearing pants today
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
