she woke up with a sticky ear
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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