one word: firstdatebathroomanal
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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