Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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