it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
