drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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