so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
