She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
did i just pee glitter
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