There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
