And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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