I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
