at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
