Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
