Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
