I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
