He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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