the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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