Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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