It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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